It was beautiful morning in Miami. The sun was shining. I slept in since it was a Saturday. I drove to a Chipotle for brunch. The day was off to a good start.
Then, out of nowhere, the person taking my order was making it difficult. She didn’t speak English. She didn’t understand stuff I said; I asked for a tiny bit of cheese, even said “pocito” in Spanish, and she dropped a huge bomb of cheese onto my burrito bowl. This was to be expected. I’d been all over the East Coast, and this stuff happens everywhere. She would also ask for three ingredients and then, forget the last one and ask again – another pet peeve. When I tried to stay positive and engage her and the coworkers in conversation, they weren’t really into talking back much.
All of a sudden, I was in a bad mood while I was eating my food. This feeling of having my mood shifted when I’m in a good mood happens sometimes when I’m driving on the road and a car honks at me, cuts me off, or drives past me because they think I’m too slow. A good day all of a sudden turns into one where I’m upset and unhappy.
After a few minutes of fuming, I caught myself. I knew this was minor in the grand scheme of things. I have seen people who let some small thing affect their mood the rest of the day. They lack an awareness of how easily they’re influenced by their environment and an understanding of the bigger picture. They’re puppets to their environment, and they don’t even know it.
I was better than that. I’d already told myself for a while that I wouldn’t let that happen to me. Yet here I was letting it happen again without realizing it. I had bigger goals for my life, bigger reasons why my life was blessed, and I shouldn’t let the random, tiny whims of life affect my mood. I was in friggin’ Miami in the winter time for goodness sake. I needed to also be more empathetic of the other person’s situation and perspective; she was trying her best.
Soon after, I was able to bring my mood back up. And I told myself I’d write and tell my audience about this because a successful individual doesn’t let his emotional state or mood be controlled by something so small or random. We need to be more aware and thoughtful about these things!
That day, I planned to visit Miami beach for the first time. It was intended to be a great day. I had no idea what to expect. Was it a muscle beach with gyms everywhere like California? Or was it something different? I was so excited. And I was now mentally prepared for any other challenges or surprises that might derail my day.
As I drove there, I took a couple wrong turns on the road since I wasn’t familiar with the exits. I didn’t let it faze me at all; I took a detour through a drop-off station for cruises and enjoyed watching people board the cruise. Sure, it added 15 minutes to my 25 minute commute, but oh, well, mistakes happen.
The rest of the day went well. The beach was beautiful, clean, accessible, and had great weather. Parking was crowded and pricy but I didn’t let that faze me. I even approached a few groups of cute girls; some didn’t want to talk from the get-go, and I didn’t let the rejection faze me. Some were actually very friendly.
I went to a gym somewhat near the beach that I had a membership to. But I found out that they were a private practice that weren’t fully connected to the franchise and I’ll have to pay for a day pass. Rather than getting mad, I knew to just take it as it is. I said I understand what they’re saying and I’ll need a few minutes to think about the day pass fee. Before I could make my decision, the owner said he’ll let me in this time for free because I wasn’t informed when I purchased a membership. I was appreciative and I got in a good workout.
Later on that night, I went to a bar / open-social area for the first time. I don’t go to these usually, but I had to visit while I was in the city. Similarly, it was crowded and there were more women who were even more standoffish than on the beach there. I had a good time, and I didn’t let it faze me … much. I was empathetic to the situation; many were there to dance, not talk to guys, they were taken, they’d been approached too many times by others, or I wasn’t their type. One can argue this is hard mode because it’s a situation that almost is intended to put you in a bad mood with constant rejection. I brushed it off for the most part until I hit one woman who laughed at me and told me, “Why do I need to talk to you?” Looking back, she has a point; she has no obligation to talk to me, and maybe she just wasn’t in the mood for it. At the time, the way she said it and her attitude pissed me off! I cursed under my breath as a I walked away, something I never do.
Even that night wasn’t as terrible as it felt looking back. There were a bunch of people who weren’t interested, but I had some friendly conversation with a few guys there. Two Hispanic men were pretty supportive of me towards the end of the night. They were encouraging me, giving me a drink, and one told me he sees that fire inside of me because he saw me brush off rejection a few times. Additionally, I had some positive conversations with a couple groups of women; I just should’ve focused more on that than on the rejections. At the same time, I’m kind to myself for not doing so since any man would probably have a hard time doing that when there were a lot more rejections.
All in all, it was a good day. I took control of it, I explored, I visited the areas I wanted to experience on my bucket list, and I didn’t let my emotions control me too much. I’m no expert at it; I’d say I’m better than many, but I have a lot to improve and meditation will help with that.
I’d say if you want to stop letting random, minor things ruin your whole day, it starts with awareness and constant practice. Then, try meditation since science has shown that it improves emotional control.
