You’re The Average of the 5 People You Hang Around Most

What’s the one simplest thing you can do to increase your levels of success?

Surrounding yourself with the right people.

At that point, you don’t have to do much else, how they act and think will rub off on you.

You could be the best artist or businessman in the world, but if you don’t have good friends, you aren’t going anywhere. –Will.I.Am of the Black Eye Peas.

As the saying goes, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time around.” But what does this really mean and why is it true?

According to scientific research, the people we spend time with have a significant impact on our beliefs, behaviors, and overall well-being. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals tend to become more similar to their friends over time, even in terms of their likes, dislikes, and overall personality traits.

But why does this happen? One reason is that we are influenced by the people around us, especially those who we spend a significant amount of time with. For example, if you spend a lot of time with people who are consistently negative, it’s likely that their negativity will rub off on you. On the other hand, if you spend time with people who are positive and motivated, you are more likely to adopt those same attitudes and behaviors.

This is not to say that we lose our individuality when we spend time with others. Rather, the people we spend time with can help shape and mold our beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors in ways that can be either positive or negative.

One way to understand the impact of the people we spend time with is to think about it in terms of social comparison. When we spend time with others, we tend to compare ourselves to them. If the people we spend time with are consistently successful, happy, and healthy, we are more likely to strive for those same things in our own lives. On the other hand, if the people we spend time with are consistently negative, unhappy, or unhealthy, we are more likely to adopt those same negative attitudes and behaviors.

This doesn’t mean you don’t need to put in hard work or other elements of a successful person shouldn’t be added into your routine (it absolutely should).

However, it is incredibly important to do this because your mirror neurons and all your psychology will naturally pull you up to be on their level in the most subtle ways: how they act, talk, and structure their day.

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. – Jim Rohn

Surrounding yourself with the right people is important.

The Dangers of Toxic, Negative People

When you have negative, toxic people as friends, they’ll pull you down.

When you try and do better things, they’ll say you can’t, discourage you, and stop you.

When you have close minded people in your life, they will bring their close minded opinions on you.

They will bring in their own obstacles to stop and trap you.

Want to be Successful? Surround Yourself with Awesome People

Surround yourself with the best people you can.

It’s only a little harder to find a positive person to hang around versus a negative person.

It’s only a little harder to find a smart person to hang around versus a dumb person.

It’s only a little harder to find an ambitious person who values self-development and good habits to hang around versus someone who doesn’t care.

Some of the best people you can hang around requires work though.

I’m not going to sugar-coat it.

It’s not easy.

You may have to go to meet-up’s.

You may have to screen hundreds of people.

You may have look inside yourself to make sure you’re looking for the right qualities.

You may have to develop your own social abilities and qualities so that you are a person who gives value rather than takes it like a leech. That way, if you find successful, healthy, happy individuals, they will want to hang around you.

You may have to be strategic in where you look.

But it is well worth it to your well-being and success in numerous areas of your life.

How Do You Find Successful People If You’re Not Successful Yourself?

This is not a question I want to answer because it will attract the same low quality type of people that have a million other excuses.

I want to attract WINNERS to this blog.

However, it is an important point that no one really has answered well on the internet because I’ve gotten questions on this.

I thought this was common sense but apparently not:

  1. Don’t have a 1-dimensional view on “successful people.” A successful person does not have to be a billionaire. Here are examples of successful people who have helped me: people who could run 6 minute miles when I could only run a 9 minute mile (are they Olympians? NO), people who were much better at social skills than me (where they as skilled talking as the president? NO!), people who had done something I hadn’t basically.
  2. Get rid of the low-ego scarcity mindset of “Why would a successful person want to talk to me?” First, look at point 1. Once you have internalized that, here’s your answer: I will hang out with someone for a number of reasons even if he’s not as fast a runner as me or made as much money as me: He’s funny, friendly, caring, or just a nice person. Stop thinking it’s some type of monetary exchange! Friends go beyond just money! It’s so obvious.

Don’t measure friends on JUST money or success. Have people who are wealthy AND happy and ethical. Or whatever factors you have. Don’t go crazy with the criteria because that makes it harder to befriend, but my point is that success should be measured beyond just income.

It’ll take more time to find them, but if you cheap out on someone who is unethical, it will bite you in the long run and be much worse.

Also have friends who BOOST you in other areas, not just money.

For example, have a friend who is fun, friendly, gives you positive energy, and JOY! Pay not attention to how much he makes. Preferably, you would want him to have some basic foundational levels of abundance mindset. But it’s fine if he’s poor.

As you can tell, the same can apply to you:

You can bring people value beyond just money. Stop looking at it like a 1-dimensional monetary exchange.

Do you have the kind of people who are going to lead you to live the life of your dreams? If not, what are your next steps? Let me know.

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By Will Chou

I am the the founder of this site and I am grateful you are here to be part of this awesome community. I help hard-working Asian American Millennials get rich doing work they love.

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