The premise is so outrageous. it’s like the TV show Jersey Shore where you get a peek into the craziest world that you never otherwise would know awbout.
The author is a former fashion model and sociologist, who wanted to study the ins and outs of the highest, most exclusive, wealthiest levels of the nightlife scene in the USA. For over two years, she was able to shadow some of the top promoters in these areas and get invited out day after day, night after night, and interviewed dozens of every job title in the industry. She got a unique exclusive look into the industry, predominantly in New York and Miami. so, without further do, here is a book summary of the new book.
The book talks about whales which come along rarely, once in a blue moon. These are the biggest crazy spenders who can spend six figures in a single night out on various things at a club like a table and alcohol. Then, there are the regulars who spend more reasonable amounts in the four figures a night. The promoters and the industry prefers these customers since their income is more predictable and controllable, even if it’s not as much.
What I found very fascinating was that the author interviewed basically everyone from the club, owner, promoters, VIP host, etc. about what they thought about the whales reckless spending. All of them had negative things to say about it, saying that it was ridiculous, excessive, wasteful, that the money could been better spent elsewhere, that it’s indicative of someone who Doesn’t know how to manage their money or wasteful, and likely someone who inherited rather than earned their money because those who earned their money wouldnt do that and because theyve seen the types who spend this much.
It just goes to show you that really excessive spending like this doesn’t actually impress as much as the people spending it think it does. In fact, the book does seem to see that some of these people are spending a lot of this money are young or didn’t earn it. Many inherited something that helped them out.
This fascinated me because the book taught me with its stories that some of these whales are immature, inexperienced people who waste a lot of money. Put another way, the clubs prey on their undeserved money and they dont get as much of a boost in positive admiration and other emotions as they think.
Another common theme of the book is just how superficial this industry in world is. This wasn’t a big surprise to me or probably not to you. Yet it was kind of annoying that the author often had this kind of negative undertone, like he was judging the industry, but at the same time constantly partaking and enjoying it. She said she lived in one of these went free model houses that had the models go out four nights a week and exchange for rent. And she mentioned a lot of the other bottle stories and experiences which she could only experience if she was there.
I’m thinking, “if you don’t like it, and do something else. Stop complaining about it. Big surprise that this world is superficial (sarcasm).”
To be fair, maybe it’s more superficial than you might’ve thought. For example, she details how it’s all about having to right look as a woman to be brought in at the highest level. And there’s a strong prevailing racism, where certain races of men and women are excluded because they arent seen as attractive. They’re not going to straight up tell you that’s the reason why you can’t get in, but they’ll cover it up with some other excuse. And then, apparently, a lot of the promoter, the author interviewed were pretty crude, direct, and superficial in their man speak when discussing women. They will refer to the uglier ones with a bunch of crude language that may offend some feminists, like “rhino.” And of course, womens and models are objectified as objects of value in these venues to get inside, to get tables, or to be positioned a certain way in the club to be shown off most, like dancing on a prominent table. And the book tells one story of a rich man at a table forcing a woman to drink alcohol a bit when she declines at first.
For some of you, this may be a bit shocking. I imagine for many, it’s not a surprise. Thats the unpretty reality of life.
It sucks, but if you don’t want that type of life or industry, stop complaining about it in a book and get out of it and move somewhere else. There’s plenty of people in industries that aren’t as superficial. Not every man thinks women are just objects. It may be hard to see a way to escape or alternative when you’re immersed in that industry and you have a job in there. But for me, having grown up and lived in a Suburban part of America, I totally think there’s different types of people.
Another interesting part all the promoters, and the industry are trained to look for a specific, tall, skinny, slender model look for women to bring. Even though many will admit that this isn’t the type that they’re that attracted. Well, it seems bizarre. At first glance, it makes sense. Beauty is somewhat subjective to an extent, although there are some objective standards across the board. And the top promoters seem to understand that you’re trying to get the look that the clients and big spenders care about most, not to look that you care about most. The book seemed to demonstrate that some of the lower tier promoters didnt fully understand that.
So why exactly is this super tall slender model look what’s in right now? The book seemed to indicate that this was the kind of look to indicate that these women were models, as some of them actually were. And this is the type of opulence and demonstration of high status that the clients want to show off most while in the clubs.
And that begs a question of why do people spend so much on alcohol and tables when they’re out at night. The book makes it clear that it’s sex. She asked numerous promoters why men spend to an excess here and sex was the word they replied back with. One said that if you put a bunch of women in a place, the men will flock there., it’s not rocket science. They’re doing it to show off and/or demonstrate high status and resources as men were generally evolved to look for fertility while women looked for resources. For that one night, they can flash their opulence by excessively wasting money. Some want to be seen as the top dog in the venue, so they occasionally get into spending battles with someone at another table to see who can out spend the other. The clubs eat this up. And some are men who never got this attention or access growing up in school, so I after they got a high-paying finance job, it was a convenient way to get access to the models and stuff they never got before. There’s one profile of a MIT grad in finance who explained this.
Whether or not this works well as an effective strategy is debatable. It probably works to a degree which is why this industry is still around and doing well. It’s a really superficial transactional market as the author may argue, but if you don’t like it, you don’t have to partake. There’s also plenty of rich people who show their wealth in more subtle ways, and have disdain for this type of behavior as the author touches on briefly. Some of the regular spenders interviewed in the book say they regret wasting all that money. Almost all of them justify the fact that they work really hard and deserve to play hard and enjoy from time to time, even the ones who really don’t work hard, and may have inherited a portion of their money. As mentioned, Some look negatively at the big whale spending. But at least for that night, they are seen as a big shot and their demonstration of high status and high resources is refutable.
Taking a little bit deeper to why they want to show off their high status and resources, it’s all evolutionary biology. While the book doesn’t cover the science behind this, it’s pretty clear to me having read many other books in this topic. It’s sexual selection, where they are unconsciously or consciously signaling to other mates that they are desirable mate through their excessive spending.
Another theme of the book was the constant seemingly fruitless chase of multimillion, or billion dollar aspirations of the successful promoters profiled in the book. The author was able to shadow, some of the most successful promoters in New York and Miami, and while they made a healthy six figures, let’s say 150 K a year, they talked about how they were going to be just as successful as the billionaires and mega rich people that they hung around in the clubs, often trying to start multiple projects to be a producer or Join some other project. The author painted the picture as if their attempts were fruitless, and would never lead anywhere. Their aspirations of becoming a billionaire or something like that were delusions. And it was rather sad since they never felt enough because they were always surrounded by people who were worth a lot more, even though they were making pretty good money. Every stories has two sides to it, so maybe this is just the author’s perspective of them.
The author makes an argument that contrary to what these people say about the general make up of women who go out, she says that she does meet women out who have respectable careers, or pursuing good professional jobs or majors in school on occasion. She says there is your fair share of people who have no substance or prospects out who just like the party, but there are some quality women out for random reasons. One man she interviewed also admitted that she found his girlfriend out at the club but she wasn’t like the others. She was brought there by a friend rather than a promoter and she didn’t stay for long. There is some hypocrisy in that since she he still met her out at night. The lesson is clear: if you’re a woman looking for something, long-term, going out to clubs is not the way to be seen by men as someone of high-quality of girlfriend material generally speaking. These men are typically looking for just some fun. Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule. And if a person‘s entire lifestyle revolves around, going out at night, he still likely to meet someone in this environment, but he’s still gonna be screening for a certain quality of woman.
Once again, this may seem obvious or not surprising. But I would argue a lot of it is worth emphasizing because many things are easier said than done, and there’s plenty of people who can’t follow the obvious. They get overtaken by a woman’s beauty and undervalue other important traits, when choosing a partner for example.
A lot of those interviewed, hoped, or expected that way they would find their future partner introduced to them by a friend, or at work. It’s flabbergasting to me because some people will say that they want to meet their partner naturally in the daytime somehow like at a grocery store or bookstore, but not on the app and not out at night. Yet there’s rarely anyone in the grocery store or bookstore. These places are generally pretty dead and most people are in and out really quickly just to get their stuff. Some are even a bit annoyed if you approach or think it’s weird or out of the ordinary. And then there’s all sorts of people telling you not to mix dating with work and not date at work and not to approach in all these other places like the gym. There are a decent amount of people on apps, and no one can deny that there’s a lot of girls out at night. so the whole thing is a bit ironic and contradictory in nature where a good portion of one typical lifestyle includes places where you to you shouldn’t approach or can’t approach or shouldn’t date. I guess that’s the curse of listening too much advice because some of it may just be wrong. I mean you’re told to work out often, maybe an hour a day. And then you have to work and make money the rest of the day and sleep and eat. And if all these things are excluded and you, do you good job and do you’re towed and work out You’re still not gonna bump in the girls that you can date because you’re not supposed to approach it or do that at a gym or at work.
The book also touches on ageism and sexism, although never explicitly, calling out the author’s opinions, but more so implicitly with the undertone that she describes facts. Once again, this may not be a surprise to some people or familiar with how the traditional world works, or what they might expect in this type of industry, but for others, it may be interesting or a stark contrast to what they know. There’s a long passage about how women after the age of 30 or often not desired, welcomed, or seen as often in clubs. They’re less likely to get invited in or excepted in as they age. And so, some of them start to try and lock down a partner or a child in their 30s secure a man’s resources. The book certainly gets me thinking. I always wondered how some women don’t seem to have thought through any type of plan after their beauty source to fade with age. Maybe they do have a plan or maybe they really just haven’t thought it through because they’re living their best life in the moment.
The author was 32 at the time of her recording experiencing this, and noticed that reaction and others as well as herself when she would be her age, although she never lied about it. Someone would tell her that she looks fine though or great for her age. As far as gender differences, the woman interviewed, unlike the man, would mostly never claim that going out at night will lead to any type of tangible substantial, business, opportunities, or career opportunities. They were rare exceptions profile, but they were exception. The author presented a couple stories of women who got an internship or developed social connections from going out at night.
Unlike the men who often expounded upon the opportunities that could come from networking, and meeting at night, most of the women saw it mostly as a way to have a fun night out and get some free drinks. When asked about it, the woman revealed that any encounters with high status or successful, or famous men, never went anywhere beyond something, brief, or brief and romantically charged. Only a small percentage of the women interviewed believed in leading to career and money making opportunities.
The author also noted how almost every high spending client was male. They were very rarely high, spending female clients at tables, and if they were, they were usually the ex-wife of someone who is rich who inherited that money somehow, and wanted to spend it on bottles. The promoters defaulted to referring to clients always with male pronouns. They will refer to any unique unicorn high spending female clients as weird. Is this sexism? It may not be since it’s the fact. Their customers are actually almost all male. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist and more than some basic education in evolutionary biology to understand why things are the way they are. For most of human history, men were typically the money owners, resource providers, and brought in the bulk of the income, and women were valued more for their youth and fertility, to be able to carry children and birth them in a healthy way. So it makes sense that men have been valued for their money and status, while women have been valued for their looks and youth. Well, One could argue that some of that has changed now that many women are earning a lot more money, those higher in women still don’t go to clubs to spend it. Based off their biological motives, they better off spending that money elsewhere, so the makeup of the client base may not change much.
Hence, the book makes it clear that the night scene is dominated by men who want to facilitate their business, networking, goals, and romantic goals. Well for women, it’s about having fun and getting free food or drinks and maybe being seen as high status. But even the women aren’t really complaining. Despite the undertone of the authors writing, it’s clear from the women interview that they enjoy the benefits. They’re not really complaining that they get to go to this exclusive, place high status, men and get free, expensive drinks and food. One woman interviewed was able to live off all that stuff – lodging, food, drinks, partying in Miami without spending more than 50 bucks over a few weeks. And loved it. She did not complain. The book did, however, acknowledge that she was pretty dependent on the me but it didn’t bother her. And contrary to more developing countries, you’re not expected to exchange sex for that. Some women interviewed from developing countries find this culture bizarre because the amount of free stuff that the women get would come with the expectation of sex in developing countries. Other women profiled mentioned the thrill and enjoyment of getting into exclusive, very expensive places, and being desired by these men. They loved getting possessions and experiences that they otherwise could not get themselves.
Next, the book touches on how beautiful women are still often used in consensual as ways to further help men improve their status or wealth.. It touches on various industries where there still occurs from hotels to advertisements to sororities to airlines to service industries to arranged marriages to business deals in finance to strip clubs. Often, their beauty is used to stroke egos, or get attention. The wealth goes disproportionately to the men.
Once again, the book author seems to make a extrapolated conclusion about that I think is inaccurate or not the full picture. She makes the claim that sorority girls get nothing but free beer while the fraternities reap the massive benefits of having a reputation as the best fraternity for having the most attractive women there. This speaks to a noticeable lack of understanding of the ins and outs of this process. It’s not that easy to be the best fraternity that has the most attractive women by just offering free beer or else, all the other France would do it. So there’s a lot of work and networking behind-the-scenes most likely. So, is it just free beer? Why the women getting a lot of additional value in exchange such as access to the best party venue, party activities, highest value, students, in athletes, or a bump in the prestige and status of their own sorority? It makes one wonder what else she didn’t factor in when making conclusions in her book. Nonetheless, we do need someone arguing for feminism and there’s some point she made that are fair.
New content – Promoter strategies
The author had a unique valued perspective by having the opportunity to observe some of the best promoters in New York and Miami in action. Hence, you gain some exclusive tips about how they source, and find all these pretty women to bring out in the most effective ways. That’s something, you wouldn’t get otherwise if you didn’t have this book and you would have to guess at.
In terms of finding them cold, it seems like some promoters would position themselves in key streets of New York City where they know models frequent, and essentially cold approach them. Being socially skilled and charismatic helps but even then, they’re prepared and do face a lot of rejection and disinterest and so it’s a bit of a numbers game.some of these girls still do get curious and decide to come out. This sounds similar to the pick up artist approach. Are these people pick up artist? There’s no clear indication that they are. The book author doesn’t bring it up or ask about it or even may not know what that is. Maybe they are or maybe they aren’t. They could just be People doing what they naturally think is best.
Another approach they use is inserting one into the fashion, industry, world and networking one’s way into fashion, shows and fashion walks, and then meeting and inviting a bunch of girls out that way. I’m really going into detail about this, although I wish you did because that seems kind of difficult to pull off.
Additionally, they mention how different promoters have different strengths and weaknesses. One was better at building, business relationships, and bringing high. Spending clients to clubs. Another was better at building friendships with women to get them to come back consistently to clubs. They would support each other in friendly competition and call each other out if their numbers started slipping.
One myth these top promoters call out is theyre not focused on quantity and arent paid per girl. Instead, play focus on a term they call quantity of quality. This means that they have a high standard of quality for the type of women they bring out and they only focus on these women, but then they do everything they can to maximize the quantity of such women they bring out. Sounds like a difficult feat. But the book claims that on some nights, they can bring up to 15 girls.
Another women affirmed that one of the promoters that the author shadowed was the best in the business. One point made about what separates them from the rest is their dedication. They would always refer to the girls they brought as their friends.
The book also profiles, his promoting strategies to get girls out. He uses a mass texting service to message the same message about an event to all these girls. Sometimes, this service doesn’t work so he hast to send individual messages. He also used tricky times, which I didn’t like. He would sometimes lie and claimed that a celebrity would be out like Leonardo DiCaprio, or have a woman, in this case, the author, call these girls and leave voice messages, pretending that they had met, and that they were going to bring a limo or something fancy to pick them up and bring them out. The trickery involves pretending they met, and using a woman which Lowers the guard and is something that they’re more welcome to receiving then if a man called. The promoter who did all this T-ball said it wasn’t completely lying because sometimes celebrities do come out. He would also work around their schedule and try and meet them in the daytime to build rapport if they can’t meet at night because they’re busy. Getting to know someone in the daytime makes it much easier when you go out with them at night. He would also employ a lot of enthusiasm and charisma if he called over the phone because young girls like to party. He would be like, “what upPppppppp tonight is going to be crazyyyyyyy”
The book also claims that the modeling industry exploits developing countries for their resources and commodities to bring to develop countries, not just in the form of inanimate objects, but also models. It points to how Brazil is a fertile ground to scout for motto, since there is a blatant economic Difference between developed countries. It says that in New York, it’s typical to see nine models, sharing a 2 Bedroom Pl. Modeling agencies front several thousands of dollars of costs to bring the motto in and get her work in the hopes that they will pay off later on. It’s a costly expense upfront to pay for flying and take care of the models.
The book mentions how the apartment rooms where models live are a ripe opportunity for promoters to invite girls out, and so they’re often hit up this way. The book mentions one story where a promoter dressed up as a pizza man to sneak into the building, and then took off his costume toknock on the door of some models and invite them out.
New content
A lot of the clients and promoters interviewed reveal that they do not see the woman who go out to plums positively when it comes to looking for long-term relationship material. They feel like these types of women who go out and party all the time or not the type that are loyal, smart ,or high-quality. Intelligence and being well cultured seems to be key trades are looking for, and these types of girls don’t typically seem to have it. Some of them described these women as great for one night, but then they had no substance after with nothing in common to talk about.
None of this is surprising to me, but I think it should be a revelation to some men. I see a lot of young men who raise women from one to 10 purely based on looks, and that seems to be all they care about. They have never stopped to think about with her not a variety of other factors may be important. Perhaps this is OK if they’re just looking for something short term for now. But I think some of them were going to make the mistake of translating that same shortlist of criteria to long-term dating because they haven’t really thought about it at all, I’m making the mistake of choosing the wrong partner.
Another reason mentioned by the book about why people go to these exclusive nighttime places is for the networking and perception. One client said that he feels like he’s perceived as lower status if he can’t say he’s been to certain vacation spots like Central pay when asked by another high-volume person. I couldn’t help. I wonder if this is one of the many delusions that clubs feed on to make money. Do you really think you’ll lose out on business or being liked because you didn’t go to one vacation spot that a prospect went to? Perhaps in certain Nish industries. And certainly that’s not a friend you would want if that’s the type of Person they are. I feel like in most industries and businesses, that is certainly not needed. Having read tons of business books by billionaires and successful entrepreneurs, none of them ever mentioned their business hinging on not going to certain expensive luxury vacation spots, and having that downgrade them in the eyes of someone else to networking with. It’s almost always more focused on building a business that provides value to customers. It’s not the first time I’ve heard this delusion before and I feel like it’s an easy excuse to rationalize why you wasted a bunch of money on some luxury purchase.
Additionally, the author details how sometimes the women were added to tables with high status, Men simply as “furniture“ where the men would barely converse with the woman, and it was more so to create that air of high status or comfortability, so that they can better facilitate business. In such environments, these women are objectified to a degree.
The book also touches on bottled girls and prostitutes. They touch on how the ladder dress, and how you can spot them out by how they’re more promiscuously dressed. And then, bottled girls can make up to $1000 a night in Miami if they’re good at their job but the job can be emotionally draining because you’re basically having to attend to your clients all night. Bottle girls are smart. They are there for the money and they’re coming with how they get it. The book profiles one story about how certain girls in Miami would work together and offer people a cut if you could find rich men to exploit and run up their tab at night. There are also table girls who are often recruited by the cocktail, waitress, or other people, and told which table every night that they should sit at by the manager. They’re paid in cash and told to be there and look pretty.
There is a clear but subtle difference between bottle and table girls versus motto at a table. Bottle girls and table girls are looked down on more because the line between them and sex workers are blurred. The book mentions a couple rumors about how some promoters/hosts will almost offer them with the implication that they provide sexual services for a fee while you’re out with them. However, model is brought to a table. We’re invited there and represent a noticeably different higher status because they’re paid with free drinks, rather than money and there isn’t that association. Who wouldve thought!
On the flipside, the woman interviewed by the author, all said that they had no romantic interest when going out to clubs, and that the quality of men at these places is not the type that they would want to date. At the same time, half the woman interviewed admitted to dating someone that they met at a club. I don’t know if the author intended to do this, but she clearly painted the difference between what women say versus what they do. This also is more support for the danger of getting dating advice from a woman. I would’ve loved if they explored more about why this is the case. Perhaps, even if it’s not logically the best place to meet the type of men they want, the lifestyle in all the psychological influences of men showing off, just resulted in that happening anyways.
This top promoter said that when you are a promoter, everything you do in your life is in some function, part of the job. He’s very strategic in everything. He does to help further his relationships with models or women that could further his income and career.
One tactic that one promoter would do is, he found a juice bar that sold juice and smoothies that he knew models liked to frequent. He would stay there, and then offer a girl who came in to buy their drink for free. The owner would laugh and say that this is the fourth drink he has bought someone that day.
One thing promoters do is act as concierge service for new models. When new models flying for the first time, From, our European country, for example, they will handle everything from picking them up, transport, and bringing them to a low budget hotel. They reap the rewards of this at night When they have a steady flow of quality women going to their tables. It can be a lot of work. One new aspiring promoter interviewed said that he worked 10 hour days five days a week for free as an intern at a modeling agency being the first to get there and last to leave just so that he can get experience and access to models to invite out at night. He lied in his résumé and said that he had, a degree in fashion to get this job. He did this for two months and only slept three hours a night because he would go out at night. When he was found out, the modeling agency still offered him a full-time job with benefits because he did such a good job. The one condition was that he had to quit going out at night so he could focus on his job. He declined the offer and quit the agency since he only cared about it in so much as it helped him get access to the models. He wanted to be a promoter. I couldn’t help but to admire the dedication but also wonder what’s the point and why was he so motivated. Likely, he thought it would improve his dating life doing all this stuff. I just couldn’t help but feel that it’s a rather exhausting way of doing it, and, there’s certainly other ways of succeeding and dating life outside of the nightlife.
The competition in the promoting industry is fierce. Some women and models are loyal to an existing promoter. Some don’t like Tebow and his team because they’re constantly hitting them up where they live. And even if they find a new strategy to get models out, soon, the other promoter start to copy. People will even stir up false rumors about these promoters to discredit them, saying that they are drug dealers, or very old creepy men. Tebow told the author that he never did any drugs or dealt drugs, and he is not that old. He said you know what a 60-year-old looks like and that’s not me.
Free, lavish, fancy dinners are often given to these beautiful women with the implicit, often not explicitly stated exchange being that they must stay for a while at the club or bar a restaurant. Sometimes, restaurants will give a fixed number of comped tables to give off the impression that the place is busy. Women love to show off that they got all the stuff for free. The book profiles, a quick story about one girl showing off all the free food she got at a lavish, dinner and bragging that it was free. The goal is to get a visually stunning picture of all the women at the same place at once. It’s a very visually compelling image that’s good for marketing. sometimes, however, there’s often bizarre situations that occur. Restaurants will refuse to cook more because they’re already closing so the comped tables were only get small, small salads, which can lead to the girls protesting and even storming off. Other times, the service can be lousy with inattentive, waiters and waitresses and missing utensils. Promoters are also expected to pay a 10 to 20% cash tip even in these comped table. The author learned to eat before coming to these, because the food can sometimes be unpredictable or meager. The restaurants will usually only offer the leftover food that isn’t ordered as much or whatever they have in stock. The drinks are not gonna be champagne or the expensive wine butwhatever is more readily available, such as sparkling white wine. One girl complained that the drinks were terrible, but then another responded that the food is still pretty good and it’s free. In these types of dinners, you don’t get to order off the menu. You’re given what you’re given.
On occasion, a promoter will pay for the entire dinner as a special treat. The author was invited to one of these with one other girl and the promoters girlfriend. This promoter got annoyed when his girlfriend kept texting during the dinner. He’s told her to put her phone down because this was not a comp dinner as usual.the author couldn’t help us think that, despite this, this promoter would make double what he paid for during dinner, when they were all going out later, which is expected of them. If a girl takes the free dinner and doesn’t feel like going to the club so leaves early from the club, she’s only likely to get away with this once. Then, she’s going to get into a big fight with the promoter because the promoter will catch on.
There’s another type of dinner, called the client dinner. This is when a rich benefactor is willing to take all these girls out and pay for all their dinners because they want the women’s company. In the size of dinners, you get to order off the menu, and you get access to whatever you want, including the fanciest meals and drinks. These dinners were typically a real treat especially since a lot of these attractive women were living on fix budgets and cramped apartments.
I couldn’t help but noticed that the text message that was sent to the author who is invited to one of these dinners said that the man was a rich, multi billionaire. I won’t be surprised though from all the other tricky mention in the book if they like to prop up the net worth of these people. They’re likely just worth 10 million or 100 million, but the promoter and maybe the man himself would lie and say he’s a billionaire to look more impressive.
Promoters would often give favors, group experiences, and treating gifts to these girls. If they had a windfall of cash, they may treat the girls to a spa day, amusement parks, bowling, Disney land, picnics, MMA classes, and cash to the most loyal girls.
The economic situation of these girls ranged from working class to very well off. The offer only interviewed three girls who were in economically distressing situations. That said, many women we’re making or living off much so the access to the exclusive, clubs or events was nice to have, and clearly something they wouldn’t have gotten on their own. One girl interviewed, said that she was in NYU and the alternative to getting a free dinner was to make Friday eggs on her own.
It was common practice to give these gifts to girls, and always pay. They would never have to pay for any food or drink themselves. Despite this, the expected exchange is your time. You are often expected to spend three hours a night at a club at least four nights a week.
Apartment housing is one of the most sought after things in New York City where in scarce supplies so for the motors often offer this for models. It’s typical to see 7 to 9 model stuffed into a 2 to 4 Bedroom place. at a time. The author profile deals, lack of cleanliness of these places. Even though they would often hire a weekly maid, between the maid visits, the place was a pigsty, with dirty plates and junk all over the place. Many of these aspiring models didn’t have much money yet, but often, they would start to succeed and make back the cost of the apartments within six months.
I couldn’t help or realize that these women are kind of like single male bachelors. Me and many young men had that phase, where we really didn’t know how to cook, clean, stay organized, so everything was a mess after we graduated college, and moved into our own place. Over the years, you hopefully mature, and become cleaner and so forth. It just told me that these women don’t have their life together. It’s not admirable or attractive to me. I couldn’t help but think that the stories in this book really de glamorize models, and perhaps rightfully so. Often, Some men will glamorize models as the epitome of the perfect mate. But it’s ridiculous. In reality, their life is a mess often times unless they become established as one of the top highest earning models. They have a matured yet and they’re given a lot of gifts that they didn’t earn but they’re given because of the beauty they’re born with. so, I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna convince a lot of people who still are going to chase after models like they’re the top tier. But at least for me, I know there’s better out there. I prefer someone with a real job who has their life together.
The book mentions a few girls, by first name that the author knows who got free trips, and stays to Miami, central pay, and even Dubai. One girl got to live for free for a month in Miami. One rich man from Dubai invited a woman out to Dubai upon first meeting her. So there’s clearly a lot of perks given to these girls by rich men. However, it’s noted that the one gift that’s always missing from these exchanges is cash. You’ll get trips or gifts, but never straight cash. The one exception is if a promoter gets a windfall of cash, which is when you may get a little cash that you’re expected to spend on a shopping spree. This is quite interesting. The book doesn’t explicitly say why, but there’s a little inference you can make that these men want to keep the transaction from being too transactional in the form of just paying cash for someone’s time or company you or anything in addition to that.
Book review
The author tone was kind of negative towards that whole world for a good portion of the book, which I found kind of hypocritical, since she clearly indulged in the world a lot and the way she described it at time, seem like she was enthralled, curious, interested, and enjoying the world. She clearly got a lot of access, for the many months and years that she was gathering experiences for the book that most people won, seemed to quite enjoy yourself. It kind of felt like she was trying to have her cake and eat it too. By saying she enjoyed the world but also, like many of her clients, she looked down on parts of the world because it discussed her or what not.
It’s like, if you’re going to complain about it, don’t partake in it. No one‘s telling you that you have to be here. And you have chosen to be part of the superficial world yet complain about how superficial it is. So, to me, it goes back to Look at someone’s actions not their words. Yeah, it does kind of suck when you’re in these worlds in New York or Miami or elsewhere where you’re super valued for your looks but you know deep down that they won’t do any of this for you if you didn’t look this way. The book touches on this exact fact, based on a quote from one woman interviewed. But at the same time, not all people are like that. And you can find non-superficial people even in New York City. You don’t even have to move to a different city. You just have to shift the people you hang around and not be going out to these clubs. But that’s just my thoughts. I just felt the book beat that part over the head like a dead horse.
Despite the complaints, net net, she probably still enjoyed it for a period of her life.
The book also goes on for too long throughout the book on how transactional and superficial everything was everything was with a negative judgmental undertone. Dude, if it’s that offputting, then don’t partake. But I get it. Some people are trapped in this world or it’s harder to escape than you think. Or you’re enamored by this world in someways and can’t walk away. I myself may have the same issues if actually in such an environment. But I do know that I would also find some of it to offputting, and eventually would want to get out of that world. I don’t like when everything‘s tit for tat and transactional and always some strategic move to try and get something from someone else. It’s much better than sometimes just be kind and do things for others without expecting anything back and just existing.
The book gives many stories about how many of the women understand how it works and love it. Young woman loved the party and dance at night, so why not join a free, expensive table, I’ll get put up in a high status area, dance the night away in exchange for having to hang around a certain table with a few rich, famous, or high status men. A few profiles in the book said they loved their time. Sure, there are some bad things aren’t appropriate like the story about how one of the men forced alcohol down a woman’s throat. I’m not for that. But those are some risks and downsides that could potentially happen when you’re in this game. So if you don’t want any of that, then just don’t be a part of it. I know plenty of people who never go out at night, and they’re happy.
Also, I think because she was in the eye of the storm, the author saw the best of it. She seemed to imply that if you’re a high status man spending a decent amount at a table, you’re bound to get a bunch of women coming to your table and giving you company. Maybe that’s what she saw because she was always in the more high status areas of nightlife where the men were rich, jet setters.
Or perhaps, because she was focused on New York City and Miami, but the culture and scene differs and other cities. Example, in Las Vegas, there’s a lot more tables and clubs. And there’s a ton of traffic flowing through that fill these tables (at least on weekends) and will pay for them because it’s a bachelorette, bachelor, honeymoon, or birthday party. therefore, there may be more demand and supply than other places, and it may attract a different crown than the rich elite business people that are mentioned in the book. Hence, the demand for having a certain type of rail thin model come to these tables and stay until the club closes may only be needed in a place like New York. In vegas, I may be a different game, with many similarities, but perhaps more focused on just filling tables with any attractive women when they need to make the club look better..
And I’ve seen of tables at Vegas that have a bunch of men who spend a boatload of money sit there, and no women ever come. I wonder if that’s another trick that clubs employ or just a stupid assumption that young men make. My guess is that they only have the promoters bring the limited supply of hot women to the highest spending tables. I remember one time overhearing a couple dudes at my local gym in my hometown getting excited about splitting an expensive table for their visit to Vegas. I’m just saying, don’t be surprised when a bunch of women don’t show up and youre just left nursing a drink the whole night with your boys.
That’s not to say that the book wasn’t aware of the Vegas scene and didn’t do its research. There are knowledgeable nods to the Vegas scene, such as the story about how Joe Lo had a birthday party in Vegas with a bunch of A-list celebrities, coordinated by Jason Strauss, and reportedly paid six figures for Britney Spears to jump out of a birthday cake for him.
Also, props to the author for getting all this information and having the stories. This is very exclusive insider information that probably a very, very small percentage of people in the world would have or be willing to share. I googled the author and she is titled as a writer and former fashion model, and when I saw her photo, I didn’t find her that stunningly attractive. In fact, she was a bit modest looking. That’s not a slight against her, it’s just an assessment about what other advantages or personality traits let her get into this superficial industry and why she may have been sucked into this world. I got the sense that she partially enjoyed all the attention and free stuff despite all the bad things she seem to not like. And there was one point in the book where she’s telling a promoter or host that she’s doing this for research and the man straight up responds to her directly by saying that she’s here because she’s pretty, not because she’s looking to do research or anything. So clearly there’s some superficiality there and her looks probably got her in Places that may be someone else could never have gotten into
I also found interesting that some of the men interviewed in the book mentioned how the quality of women at these places it’s just not great because what type of career or lifestyle does a person have that they’re partying in a club at 2 AM on a weekday? I’ve had that same thought a few times when I’ve gone out to these types of places, spurred by dating advice rampant on the Internet from coaches and gurus, who say that it’s a great training ground. Perhaps it is a great training ground, but I think it’s important to differentiate it being a place to practice your social scares versus a great place to find your future partner. I don’t think all coaches or pick up artist guru have really internalized that difference. They’re still stuck on this outdated model that it’s just the best place to meet women regardless of your goals, which I don’t think it’s true. The author replied back with a week argument, that perhaps some of these girls are students, which was promptly silenced by his response, that if they are students, they should be studying in the library at 2 AM, not out partying.
The book has a strong undertone of implied distaste for the sexism in these industry, and in the world at large. Surely, we have some room to improve in these areas. And we should work on that. And I believe we are trending in the right direction and have a long way to go. But the nuance that the author never really articulated where she stands on is whether she’s trying to aim for some perfect world where there is none of this and there’s some type of extreme equality between the genders. Hopefully not because that type of extreme feminism just isn’t likely to ever happen. Specifically, what I mean is, she mentioned how the bulk of the wealth disproportionately goes to Men and that it’s almost all men who are clients who pay for these tables. Well, there’s never going to be a world where it’s half women paying for these tables, since the book makes it clear that Men are pay mostly force or the chance that it will lead to something romantic. Women are simply just not interested in the same motivations, and goals and biologically are more motivated mostly for long-term relationships, generally speaking. gonna be flocking to strip clubs and nightclubs, even if they believe in equality. They would rather spend their money and time in other ways. The book even provides various evidence for this since many of the women interviews said they don’t think they would ever find quality partner in such environments.
You noticed that the book heavily focuses it’s experience within the nightlife scene of New York City and Miami. And that’s obviously because that’s where the author shadowed these promoters, and saw the inner workings of everything. No doubt that this was a very exclusive elite experience that you may not get even if, you bought a table. I wish the book covered more about the Las Vegas scene as well, which is another hotspot. Arguably, there’s also Los Angeles. I’m sure there are differences, having lived in all these places, well, I never participated in the New York or Miami night scene while I was there, I’ve experienced a good amount of the Vegas scene, and I won’t be surprised if there are noticeable differences. Probably has more space and tables at every venue, and from what I’ve seen, the average make up of a table is not these elite businessmen that are mentioned in the book which may be more common in New York, or Miami. Instead, it could be a bunch of young men or a bachelorette party. Certainly, there are some older businessman at times, but they make up of the tables is just different and the volume of traffic flowing through is probably a lot higher. Therefore, I would recommend the book because of its unique perspective into probably the opera echelon of things. She got a firsthand experience that is rare to obtain of probably some of the top echelon of table, clients, and people in nightlife. It’s almost like watching a TV show where you get to see how the rich and elite live; it’s something that most will never experience so it’s fun to get an inside glimpse.
Michael Sartain, someone very established, and experienced in the nightlife scene of Las Vegas, has said that the promoter job title is seeing as the lowest title in nightlife, so much so that promoters try to describe themselves as something else like hosts. I was recommended to read this book through Michael via his program man action. I’m sure he agrees with a lot of things in this book and find it very interesting. I’m curious what he would think about the strong focus in the book around promoters. Because the book itself doesn’t Point out to mention that promoters are at the bottom of the status hierarchy at all. They clearly do a lot of work behind-the-scenes, but they reap a lot from it. Are there levels of management above a promoter that have equally or greater payoff and crazy lifestyles? Perhaps that’s the next thing to explore. The authors likely tired of the scene but if she ever does a sequel book, that could be an idea.
The craziest part about this book is that it’s recent. The publication date was pretty new. That means that this crazy stuff like promoters dressing up as pizza delivery guys to sneak in to an apartment to invite Maros out actually happened recently. All this information is fresh.before I realize the publication date, some of it seem rather ridiculous, or from an older era. But this is the crazy stuff that happens. I can’t say I envy this world, but it is certainly enlightening. I don’t think you need to bend over backwards or do all this crazy stuff to succeed in dating. But it does seem like there is a good deal, hard work, innovative, marketing, and ridiculousness in this world of nightlife, models, and promoting. For some, this will be just an entertaining story. For others in the industry, it may be informative or useful to get into the scene. and for some, it may help them a bit in dating by understanding, and emphasizing more with the crazy world that the world elite in the nightlife experience. It certainly isn’t all glitz and glam and a lot more work behind-the-scenes. The good news is that it’s OK if this type of extreme life isn’t for you.
Towards the end of the book, the tone seems to lighten up and gets a little bit away from the negative superficial tone of the industry. While still acknowledging the superficiality and giving more details, it was more about the reality of the situation, the pros and cons. Various benefits of this life where acknowledge come, including the social status, access to high status, opportunities, high income from scratch, and women. But also the disadvantages were acknowledged, including the racism, the superficiality, the low status of the job title itself, and the short time frame that people wanted to have this job because it is seen as entry-level or unbecoming, if you’re still holding it at an old age, but they difficulty to walk away from the money and to propel themselves to a higher economic status that replaces their promoter income.
Towards the end of the book, you really can tell that the author has spent a lot of time in this industry, understands it well, and has developed fond relationships with a lot of these promoters and people interviewed. I don’t think it was just a science experiment or to write a book, but she also enjoyed it to some level.
She gives a lot unique stories and experiences on yachts and clubs, and some of the most exclusive places around the world. You can’t get those stories from 99, so it’s very insightful.
And, of course, she paints an honest look at the industry and the people, and they’re goals, shedding some truth that even these promoters themselves may not acknowledge. For example, there’s the fact that a lot of them are chasing these giant side hustles in a different industry to propel themselves outside of being a promoter to another higher economic status and job title like clients. But very little if none of them will ever really be able to make that happen and maybe stuck in their job title longer than they want.
This book is certainly not pinning a tragic tale or a tale about mistakes made where you can learn from. It’s more of a realistic portrayal of the good and bad of the industry. And certainly there’s a lot of benefits in this industry that others do not obtain. It works to some degree because there is a value exchange that is worth it for all the people involved. May complain a bit about it, they still partake because it that the benefits outweigh the trade-offs.
Many of these models can’t afford much on a college budget and they are able to get all these grammar things including flights, five star, restaurants and access to some of the worlds elite earners and Crazy, fun nightclub parties being part of this industry and promising to stay until 3 AM every night out. It can be a bit exhausting but it’s worth it to them so they keep doing it for a while. And maybe for a bit too much or expecting a bit too much, but the woman seem to like the ones who don’t expect anything else except their company.
And of course, the clients get a lot of the benefits of the company being around all these women, including the perceived status, and the fun of it. The promoters to get to go from a low income to higher social status, access to high status, events, good income, and more action with women than the clients.
It’s not a fully transaction over relationship because the woman and promoters don’t want it to be. They want to have fun and if money gets directly paid, becomes work. But it’s also not fully not transactional and that can lead to some issues and superficiality. And then, of course, the industry itself is very superficial by nature, selecting for a specific type of body, look, age, and ethnicity. While the author was pretty negative about this at the start of the book, and I’m sure others are too, I would argue that while it does suck, it is part of the demand of this industry. And if you don’t want to be involved in it, you don’t have to be. There’s plenty of other industries, whether it’s working at computer science, Tech, healthcare, at Costco, etc. that aren’t like this. So if you don’t like it, or you get tired of it, it’s on you to get out of there. Those who stay in it no that the benefits are worth it for their specific situation.
For me, I learned a lot and realized that this is probably not the job title for me. Seems like a lot of work. And these men have a gift of gab. Maybe they always had it or maybe it’s something that can be developed. But I’m skeptical if you can really develop it much if you dont have it. Plus, it seems like a short or midterm strategy that can screw you in the long-term. A lot of these people are surviving now but I’m gonna be able to transition out when they hit their 40s and maybe be stuck at this job that isn’t going to be a fit or seen as successful when they have a wife and kids. Despite the benefits of women and income and opportunities, it only gets them so far. As mentioned throughout the book, these clients don’t entertain the notion of their relationships with promoters leading to any real significant business deals, even if that’s the hope of these promoters. Plus, many of these promoters, while good with girls, end up being unable to be faithful because of their lifestyle and get divorced or have kids with multiple women who are no longer with. You could argue that it is being successful in spreading your genetics, it’s probably not ideal for nurturing a healthy relationship with your partners and children.
One fascinating area of the book that you could take away are the tactics, strategy, and mindset that these promoters use to build a social network of female friendships, and do well in dating. this can be especially useful if you’re interested in going out to nightclubs a lot for career or just for life. They probably do better than most people.
The book mentions how the promoters hook up more than the clients. And part of that is because they’ve cultivated these relationships where they are hanging out with these girls in the daytime, not just night. It takes a lot of work, but you build that friendship and trust, that others don’t have. And you see them on a recurring basis, sometimes every night. And because of that familiarity, plus all the other things like the pre-selection of being around so many girls, and the fun environment, it just leads to more dating opportunity.
The promoters are also good at portraying an archetype that sex realistic expectations. The girls know that they are not looking for long-term relationships, and after their night with the promoter, they never expressed any regret when interviewed. They knew it was a fun night, one night stand, and it was fun, and there’s nothing wrong with it, and they don’t feel heartbroken or anything.
Mentioned throughout the book is the promoters ability to find the watering hose and junctions where they can meet a higher concentration of prospective models and girls that would fit the mold for the club. These include juice stations, certain streets outside of modeling agencies, fashion shows, High-end hotels, and high-end gyms. It’s a good deal of street approaching, some rejection, and having that gift of gab. But that’s something to think through. Average men don’t really increase their eyes by being more strategic with where they meet women.
There are certain constraints with the job that I think an average man doesn’t have. So you can be smart about it and take the good things that you learn and then combine them with your own freedom. For example, the promoters admit that there often looking for specific real thin model body type that isn’t their personal taste in attractiveness. And that simply because these nightclubs and the clients prefer these women and they do what they’re paid for. if you’re just for dating rather than to make money as a promoter, you don’t have to be confined to constraints like this. You also don’t have to hold girls accountable because they’re tired and they want to leave a club early, but you’re expecting them to stay until 3 AM every night as part of the implicit agreement. You can just make friends with girls and invite them to other stuff and they can leave whenever. I certainly am no expert at this, so if y’all have any better creative ideas, leave a comment.
Like Bruce Lee says, take the good beneficial parts You learn and discard the bad for your own life. And that might mean identifying the strategies or principles of what the promoters do to apply to your own goals, while avoiding the people. For example, still cultivate relationships and friendships with many female friends, and you can invite them out at night or other things if you don’t like nightclubs. But do it for fun in your personal life while having a separate job that can be more stable and has more upper trajectory in the long run. That way, when you transition to a wife and kids, you have something respectable going for you economically. Plus, it’s less transactional to an extent since the girls are expected to have to come out to dinner le table. They’re just coming out as friends and can leave whenever.
I think the next book that can teach us a lot about dating is a similar profiling, but not of the nightlife industry, but of men who succeed well with women in their local community. Thinking of some of the men I’ve encountered, it’s probably the type or doing something similar, just socially and naturally. They’re not doing a bunch of cod approaching, but they found the watering halls where they can, meet women in ways that are comfortable to them and respectable, whether it’s a bar, high end gym, recreational sports league. And then they have these strains in these environments that they can showcase and then they build a circle around it. I won’t be surprised, these men are able to build this through Social Circle rather than dating app or some other singular method.
Lessons Learned
One of the interesting, useful insights from the book that was mentioned towards the very end is that money does not guarantee status on its own. It’s only a means to status if used properly. You can build prestige with it in certain ways like with the. You can buy status, owning expensive exclusive art or objects. You can become part of exclusive neighborhoods, houses, or communities. But it has to be used correctly.
There does seem to be a limited staging life where women want to go out to clubs. Afterwards, they often move on, start a family, and do other stuff. From there, promoters we replenish these girls with new, young girls coming in.
Why do women come out with promoters? It’s boiled down to the practical, the relational, and the sensual. They don’t have much money in an expensive city, so the win-win relationship that is formed. They get access to luxurious entertainment and food, and decent housing, in exchange for their presence, the specifics of which are dictated by men.
Second, they have the opportunity to be introduced to people that are further their careers or their personal life, connecting them with high-status people. These women feel at the very least obligated to return the favor and, at the most to sometimes fall in love with the promoter.
And third, they chased the pleasures of thr vibe and the ego of being good enough to be one of those invited out. A promoter seeks someone who wants all three of these to come out. If they have them, they are likely to become a regular. If they don’t have one of them, they’re likely not to come out at all.
Another big insight that was mentioned briefly, but I thought it was huge. Was that promoters typically get more action and result with winning than the high spending clients. It doesn’t explicitly go into why, but a lot of the stories in the book kinda tell you. They’re constantly around these girls, the regulars, they’re familiar with the promoter, they develop a flirtatious relationship, he’s always around girls, And doesn’t have to spend money to impress girls like a client does.
Additional content
The book found that promoters hook up with noticeably more women than the clients spending on the bottles. That’s interesting since they’re lower status and income than the clients. But perhaps it’s because theyre always around these girls on a recurring basis, have built a strong social connection, and hang out with them every day.
One promoter decked out his apartment in Manhattan so that it was always clean and filled with feminine products because he expected girls there often. When a woman says she cant stay because she needs a certain thing like a hair dryer, he showed that his place was decked out.
The book examines why exchanging money for these girls to come out is never part of the equation. It’s interesting song and dance. But it seems that we interviewed, the girls and promoters say that it would turn a relationship transaction and feel like it did. And that would kill the relationship and energy of why they would want to go out, which is for fun. Hence, money was only used indirectly. For example, you can pay the bill for transportation to the club that has to be earmarked for transportation.
These promoters spent a good deal time, cultivating social relationships with each girl, which will help bring them out but also help hook up with them. It’s unlikely that any promoters did their job without the desire to get with girls. When asked about the fling they had or short-term relationships with the promoters, none of them ever expressed any regrets, knowing that they were short term.
One promoter would say to sleep with the party girl / leader in the room/house of models because if you won her over, then you could influence all the other girls to come out.
The promoter lifestyle is one that can make it hard to succeed in a monogamous relationship as you succeed in your career. The job requires you to become attractive and be able to flirt with girls as well. This is at odds with keeping a stable relationship. Almost all the promoters interviewed were not in monogamous relationships. And the two that were didn’t seem to be doing well in them. One of them ended up divorcing his wife even though he had a kid because she caught him cheating with one of the girls at his table. He said it’s difficult because the girls will be touching and rubbing up on him at the table so there’s a lot of temptation.
Many of the promoters and baby mamas and fathered children with multiple girls.
Also, surprise surprise. They are vigilant about preventing girls from inviting unattractive friends. There’s a certain standard that needs to be kept with the quality at these tables and us, they asked for information about the girls if someone wants to invites them out and their direct about it, if a girl can’t come. There is one story in the book about how promoter demanded a girl on a yacht shave and let her to the bathroom because she had unshaved bikini area. While some may say this is very superficial, promoters have a certain standard to uphold for their job. Are they the ones to blame or is the demand for a certain type of girls in these venues to blame?
Promoters are constantly making sure girls uphold their end of the bargain in the implicit agreement. They had to stay until 3 AM at clubs and stay the whole time if it’s a dinner. Often, girls get are and want to leave early and promoters have to prevent them and remind them. When you have to go out every night and stay the whole time, it stops feeling fun and sometimes starts feeling like work. One time, the girls were obligated to go to a mansion after a club. One girl was so tired that she fell asleep sitting upright at the kitchen table.
The book tells us a story about how one promoter got free housing that was a two bedroom two bath to house 15 girls for free. What the owner of this place wanted an exchange was the company of these women while he went out at night on occasion. The promoter said who doesn’t want to walk into a nightclub with a bunch of women. he would want the same thing if he was rich. This promoter had arranged the steel with some type of investment banker. It seems like there’s a constant value exchange between those who have money and what money have to offer with the company of attractive women for the perception, reputation, and not sure the possibility of, some romance.
A female promoter was profiled. She seemed to have many disadvantages by being female. The job was better suited for men, as admitted by her as well. She couldn’t flirt with the girls because.. And she didn’t have the leadership to lead these girls. Or protect them from others trying to poach them. And she couldn’t go out on the streets to approach women like Men did because it might give her the wrong reputation or she may be seen as a lesbian. Plus, other promoters saw as unbecoming for women to approach other women on the street as a promoter. She admitted that many women went out because there was the possibility that something could happen between her and a man. She couldn’t provide that like a male promoter could. Therefore, her only strength was investing in her relationships and friendships with these girls. She spent a massive amount of time trying to build friendships and maintain them and communicate with these girls. It was very exhausting work and it was more work than fun. She barely slept and she went from being an insomniac before this to juggling three jobs and falling asleep easily.
She knew she was disadvantaged compared to the flirtatious male promoters. So she tried her best to make up for it. She always kept one good looking flirtatious man at her table. And she double down on becoming really good friends with everyone she invited out. It took a lot of investment in the daytime and time to maintain conversations and talk to people. She would often invite them out to dinner at her place where she cooked before going out. The guest would bring one item like a potluck. So her angle was that she was really good friends with all these girls and invested in these friendships, and therefore, they would stay loyal to her as friends. So sometimes, the girls would admit that they were coming out that night, even though they didn’t want to because they were friends with her and they knew that’s how she made her money so they wanted to support her.
It did feel me as a reader like she was playing an uphill battle. Like she was doing a bunch of things to overcome or disadvantages, but it’s hard to compete with the flirtatious male promoters. And having a strong friendship put her at odds with the trans Part of her job. She got into a fight with one friend after that got into a romance with a client and then broke up. She kept inviting the client out even though he was leaving New York and two months instead of her friend who she had known for two years. Her friend called her out for this and called her a promoter. She responded saying how dare she call her a promoter! She is a friend. They eventually resolved the fight, but it goes to speak about the contradictory nature of the job.
She also had to do a lot to prevent girls from wandering off to other tables or clubs or being poached by other promoters to their tables. She tipped the waitresses and bouncers very well and made sure they were available and ready to kick out any guys trying to get to her table. She bribed them to allow the girls to illegally smoke at the table to prevent them from wandering off to a smoking area on their own and getting poached. It was typical for her to spend $300 or more a night in tips. It was worth it to well.
She also gave up on bringing out models. Instead, she aimed for average girls. Because models were too much of Dave to handle and work with. She gets half the amount of money she would earn if she brought out models, but it was worth the peace of mind. This also speaks again to the contradictory nature of the job as it was mentioned a few times in the books how the male promoters were at the top were breaking in multiple six figures and could afford a really nice place in New York City. The book also occasionally at tragedy of it because, some of these promoters think that they two will grow and grow one day and some of their side hustles in music or entertainment will take off and be a billionaire but in reality, they likely just continue to earn wage as a promoter.
One of this female promoters friends profiled in the book admitted that she was screamed before she went out. To make sure the outfit was right, and she looked fine. Sometimes, she would be asked to change her outfit. And it was often on her mind to keep her weight down. She had to cut back to the way she was in eighth grade. She knows that if she gained too much weight, she may only be invited to the events that aren’t as fun. Once again, the book alluded to the superficial nature of the industry. But also, what do you expect? if you don’t like that world, if you don’t care about getting into the events, then it doesn’t matter and just don’t associate yourself with this industry. But if it does, I feel like that’s obviously part of the game you have to play.
This female pro promoter was shown over promising and under delivering a bit as part of our strategy. She would blatantly identify the superficial value and then promise that value in texts to get people to come out. She would tell the girls that this dinner has a very high value, which, entrepreneur who has been waiting to meet them and is very cool. And he would tell the entrepreneur in a separate text that there were a few very attractive models with a clothing brand they founded that were successful coming to the dinner. This conveyed that they were not only attractive but successful in their careers. But when the entrepreneur showed up, the girls found out that he didn’t even know the girls were coming, and we certainly not looking forward to seeing them. Keep in mind that the book is just profiling how Promoters are doing things. It’s not saying that these are the best ways of doing it. I learned from Michael Sartain, who is pretty successful in nightlife, you actually want to do the opposite and under promise and overdeliver..
The author found that the majority of promoters came from lower income with little education. Many dropped out of college or did not go to college or high school. Promoting is a easy job to get into without a high learning curve or a lot of credentials needed. And it can prove lucrative if you get really good at it. The top promoter figures and we’re always around very wealthy clients and attractive women. For them to succeed and achieve that income and status somewhere where they came from is quite a feat. The author found likelihood of someone from that income bracket getting to where they are is only 17%.
Despite all their success, many promoters wanted and believed they were going to be the ultra wealthy like the clients that they were surrounded by. Many did side hustles side projects thinking that it will help them breakthrough into that top 1%. But the author painted the picture that none of them would ever crack into that. That level of success is just attainable for them. They will just remain in their service job. And while we compare a lot, it can also be pretty expensive. Even on days when you don’t go out, there’s a lot of money spent building and maintaining those relationships. And then there are all the expenses when you do go out, you have to tip all the staff a lot of money, a few hundred dollars sometimes. It is a constant game of building relationships.
But the author points out that these relationships are at some level transactional How true are these friendships if one person is profiting of another as part of their relationship? He also has a story about how promoters and like it when the relationship got too transactional and the girls asked for it too much, including a $10 cab fee. The girls don’t like it too much when they’re being exploited way too much and they stop having fun. One your profile admitted its somewhat of a valuable change, but he’s fine with it. Without the rich men and friends she knew, she couldn’t afford the four-star restaurant for anything really. You couldn’t pay for a $20 thing on her own budget. Her relationships and work, you can afford Expensive restaurant.
The job also gave promoters a lot of social status and access to high status people and resources that they would’ve never otherwise gotten. So part of the reason they do the job is not just for the cash before these additional benefits. The author remarks on how this can be a double edge sword because, it often gets them to believe that they can have this extravagant one percent life as well which causes them to chase various business ventures or opportunities on the side that are often unlikely to succeed. The book painted as almost a pipe dream
Nine of the promoters interviewed had goals of transitioning to something else like actor, brain, marketing, person, producer, and so forth. Promoters saw what they did as a trampoline or launching pad, but not as something that they want to do forever. They all viewed it as a temporary job to get them in another field. They see as a huge networking opportunity. One of the promoters posted how he knew all the rich people on the yachts and they didn’t even know each other.
The one more reliable, more consistent path to success beyond promoters seem to be turning into an owner or operator of a club.three of the major nightclub companies in New York City are owned and operated by former promoters.
Some of these promoters were enthusiastic and optimistic about the opportunities as well forgetting about the failed attempts to broker business deals. They were often eager to build business relationships, so much that one day, years down the line, they could propose getting a percentage of the cut for a relationship that was formed. One promoter felt like he could build that good will and years later, get a small percentage off some massive multi billion dollar oil deal. He claimed that this was going to be a solid way to make 1 billions. He said if a fraction percentage cuts on this oil deal can make him a billionaire. The author implied in her writing that this was likely overambitious and exaggerated. when she examined the people interviewed and and all her experiences with promoters, she found that none of them had Ashley successfully broker any business deals like this where they get a percentage cut on the business partnership, even though many have tried. It seems like this is been an untruthful unreliable way of making money, even though they’re trying.
There was no denying that some networking opportunities did help in small ways. One promoter always got discounts at the dentist and with insurance because he would meet people of all these industries out at night. They would also get a constant stream of tickets to events and parties.
Promoters tend to insert themselves at junctions where they would run into the right people. This included high end hotels, fashion shows, and the most expensive gyms in the city.
While they can get up to a 20% commission on what clients spend at tables, the work can be tiring. It can include building a relationship the entire day, brunch, arranging dates for the client with models, and more.
Despite the claims of some promoters saying that they’re really good friends with the wealthy elite, these claims may be highly exaggerated. The author tells the story of getting on a yacht with some girls and some wealthy South African business people that the promoter Santos claimed he was really good friends with. It became quickly apparent, that he was at best a friendly acquaintance with one of the sons of these business people. In fact, one of them asked her if Santos was a pimp, and these girls were a result of sex trafficking. It seems like despite these promoters ability to charm women, they weren’t doing that great in terms of turning rich clients into real friendships. Many of these clients kept some distance from the promoters and treated them simply as lower status service people.
It also represented asymmetric relationships. Promoters wanted long-term business relationships that improve their economic status. While these clients wanted fun, short term relationships.
The book also acknowledges how race plays a role. Most of the promoters she has interviewed and seen our ethnic and immigrants. Mostly being black, some being white, some being Latino or Asian. Of the 10 black men that they may let into a club, seven of them are promoters. These clubs pay attention to making sure not too many ethnic people get into a nightclub.
The book mentions how a lot of people exploit or use the stereotypes of black men to appropriate themselves to show that they’re connected to that world, or they also have friends like that to prove that they also have certain traits of attractive, masculine black men. Some of these men are Assumed or thought to be also pimps or drug dealers. One African American 29 year-old promoter admitted that he capitalized on being an attractive black man. European girls have told him that they like attractive black men, and he was often the only one in the club.everyone else was short white men in suits, so he capitalize on that. He admitted that if it wasn’t going to be him, it would’ve been someone else.
Many young girls from Europe are told to stay away from black men by their parents. So when they get to the US, they want to rebel. Then, they assume stereotypes are true. They think that these men are fine, attractive, and have drugs. And then when they see them in person, they see that these people are stylish, smell, good, can dance.
One promoter Dre admits that he often has to explain to girls that he is not a drug dealer and can’t provide them drugs. But he fully leans into the stereotype that black men are good in bed. Even though he admits that in reality, some black men suck in bed, and some white men are great in bed.
But there are also various drawbacks. They are not seen as white and different. And as you climb up in the social hierarchy, you quickly notice that there are few Black people. One promoter admits that if he didn’t show up to these places with a lot of girls or his social connections, they would treat him, terribly. They also have to be on constant guard to stay away from drugs and underage girls. Any implications mean that they’re in trouble because they’re more likely to arrest or incriminate a black man. One promoter freaked out when a girl he met went missing and Police started questioning. It turns out she just went to Atlantic City without telling anyone, but there’s just extra attention when a white girl goes missing and a black man is involved. Also, they have to deal with a lot of bigotry, and just handle it. One promoter said you have to be the best dressed, best behaved, best mannered, black man at all times, mentioning how at one dinner, he had to just be cool with a bunch of racist and bigoted things being said about him.
One promoter wears his pants sagging wheel long to promote a certain image that girls like and that brain status. He gets stopped on the street often by people who want to know who he is because he looks like some type of celebrity. But also, it comes with, backlash too. One time, he was followed on the street by a white man and then scolded and told that in this white society, you should wear your pants up at your waist and you shouldn’t be wearing it so low. He responded cordially in the moment, but you can tell that it’s still affected him because he brought it up to the author weeks later how that was a offensive thing to say.
Promoters didn’t want to be referred to or seen as a promoter. It’s often seen as a lower status title. And they certainly didn’t want to remain promoter as they got older. If you’re still a promoter at the age of 40 or older, it can be seen as a failure or creepy. They don’t want to be seen as the old guy creeping on girls or the guy who couldn’t make a solid living elsewhere and is still a promoter at that age. You’re seen as a failure if you’re still a promoter at that age. They don’t want to be seen as someone who has a wife or kids at that age and is still going to nightclubs with young girls.
The tough part is walking away because it pays very well. So they’re caught in this area of not wanting to walk away from the money and trying to transition out of being a promoter but still haven’t had their business ventures takeoff yet.
The book concludes by saying that the nightclubs found a way around being blatantly an exchange of money for women like pimps. The clients pay for expensive bottles and the promoters bring the girls. The girl has come for the fun and the other reasons mentioned. So, it’s a win-win relationship Where everyone’s happy and it’s legal.
It ends by talking about the main promoter profile in the book drain, she says goodbye to you after her last night ever with him at a nightclub. It’s been one and a half years since she’s been hanging out with him and profiling him. And nothing changed, including, his constant attempts to secure business ventures, Food Network with the clients that end nowhere. She says that these rich millionaire clients have the ability to dangle the possibility of joining the elite in front of these promoters as if networking with them will one day get them to do a business venture. But in reality, none of that will ever happen and they know it. Promoters are chasing a hopeless possibility that will never happen to enter this elite level.
I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad about that, but then I called myself. Do not not necessarily doing bang. You’re doing pretty well with women and income. And they may not make it to the millionaire level above, but they certainly made it out of the low class income that they came from. And the author is more so labeling a blind spot that she’s probably pointed out to them, but they refuse to see. So, it’s their own fault.
So, there’s certainly a lot of other career pathways and business pathways to the elite income level you want besides promoting. Promoting and networking alone don’t seem to be the best way to get there. It’s at best a steppingstone career.
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